Charlottesville Divorce Lawyer Rob Hagy

You Never Have a Second Chance to Make A First Impression.

I was reminded today of this quote as I watched a father carted off to serve a three day jail sentence after being found in summary contempt for basically misbehaving in court.  The father was in court for a first appearance after having been charged with criminally assaulting and battering the mother of his children. As is typically the case, the father and the mother were also in court for a hearing on the mother's civil petition for a protective order.  Instead of keeping his composure, the father took the opportunity to basically show his disrespect for the mother of his children and of the court by interrupting the judge and basically "talking back".  Now, a criminal assault and battery charge and a court protective order are no laughing matters.  By acting out, the father has already made an impression on the judge. The judge is human.  He is going to remember dad's misbehavior in the future.  This father is going to have to appear before the judge at the trial of the criminal charges, at a hearing on the final two year protective order, at a custody and visitation hearing, and a child support hearing.  Why in the world would someone want to get off on the wrong foot with someone who is going to make multiple, very important decisions which could have significant impacts on that person's life?

What lessons should be learned from this father's mistakes?  First, hire an attorney to represent you in the criminal and in the civil protective order proceedings, including the first appearance on the criminal charge and the initial hearing on the protective order.  Your attorney will act as a buffer between you and the court.  If you don't hire an attorney, then at a minimum mind your p's and q's.  Essentially, you should not say anything until you hire an attorney.  Respond to all questions with "Yes, sir or mam" or "No, sir or mam."  Inform the court you wish to hire your own attorney or that you want court appointed counsel retained (KEEP IN MIND: you do not have a right to court appointed counsel for the protective order.)  Then, stay quiet when your significant other testifies in the preliminary protective order proceeding...NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY.  Keep a poker face. Don't shake your head, stare at them, sigh, or stomp your feet.  Don't grandstand by saying things like "that's okay, I don't want to have any contact with her anyhow."  Don't laugh. I've seen this happen multiple times.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, keep in mind that anything you say during the protective order proceeding can be used against you in the criminal proceedings.  I have watched prosecuting attorneys take notes during ill-advised testimony at a protective order proceeding.  They are paying attention!!!

The father in this case got off light on the jail sentence in my opinion.  His misbehavior was pretty brazen.  A charge of summary contempt carries with it a penalty of up to ten days in jail and/or a $250.00 fine.  But, he won't get off lightly in the future.  This father will have a hard time making up for his display in the upcoming legal proceedings.  By keeping his composure at this first stage of the proceedings, he could have saved himself numerous future financial and emotional heartaches. 

The "Our Family Wizard" Web Site Provides a Robust Set of Tools Designed to Increase Parent Communication and Decrease Parental Conflict.

One local judge in our circuit has, on at least on occassion to date, ordered that parties to a custody dispute use this web site, www.ourfamilywizard.com, to help resolve their problems concerning the custody of their children. I have not reviewed the site completely yet. But, it looks very promising.  Please take a look.

More Fun for Dads and Sons: University of Virginia Wrestling

Last night, I took my 4 year old son to see his first wrestling match: Virginia v. North Carolina.  Right now, Virginia has a nationally ranked wrestling team.  The team competes at Memorial Gymnasium located on the grounds of the University of Virginia.  Admission for adults and children is FREE.  We didn't have much trouble finding seats.  The match started fairly early: 5:00 p.m. so we did not arrive until about half way through the event.  However, there are weekend day time matches which may be easier to attend.  Parking is available in the parking garage located adjacent to the U.Va. Bookstore (you have to pay for parking, but it is reasonably priced).  Please note that it was a little hard to find bathrooms, but there is a help desk out front in case you need assistance.  In addition, there are no refreshments available so plan on bringing your own snacks (which are permitted in the gym).  While there was ample seating available, I recommend sitting in the top row of the bleachers. We sat in the lower levels of the bleacher section behind the Carolina bench and our view of the action was frequently obscured by the Carolina coaches and wrestlers.

One neat feature was the fact that you had to walk among the Carolina wrestlers while they were warming up to get to the seats.  My son was wowed a little by this.  It isn't often that you can get that close to collegiate athletes while they are preparing to compete.

One negative feature was participant injury.  By its very nature, wrestling is a rough sport.  One Virginia wrestler suffered a twisted knee, which probably wouldn't bother a child in a larger venue, but in such close quarters and because the injury appeared serious, the gym turned completely silent and you could clearly hear that the wrestler was in pain.  My son handled fit fairly well, but it is something to consider before taking kids his age and younger I think.  Depending upon the child, they may get scared by an injury under those circumstances.

By the way, the event wasn't attended by just dads and sons! I saw a number of dads and moms and daughters too!!!!

Father Could Choose DayCare Provider Over Mother's Objection.

In the case of Kirkendale v. Kirkendale, a Loudon County Circuit Court judge refused to grant a mother veto power over father's choice of a daycare provider, even though father's first choice was his girlfriend's daugther and his second choice was a friend of the girlfriend's daugther.  Mother failed to present any evidence that the daycare arrangements made by father, who was the custodial parent and who paid for the daycare, were harmful to the children.  The judge reasoned that granting mother a veto power would amount to giving each party an absolute veto power which, if used inappopriately, could result in the absence of day care when needed.  In other words, the judge found that there was a great potential that the veto power could be abused.

Wife's Remarriage Did Not Excuse Husband From Providing Wife's Health Insurance Pursuant to their Separation Agreement.

In the case of McCoy v. McCoy, the Virginia Court of Appeals, in a published opinion, held that a Husband should be held in civil contempt for refusing to provide health insurance to his Wife as provided under an agreement that was incorporated into their final decree of divorce.  The health insurance provision was not a form of spousal support and Wife's contractual right to receive health insurance was not affected by her remarriage.

Procedural Default on Appeal Prevents Husband from Arguing that Second Mortgage Constituted Waste of Marital Assets

In the case of Bailee v. Bailee, the Virginia Court of Appeals, in an unpublished opinion, ruled that it could not hear Husband's appeal of a decision denying his motion asking the court to consider a second mortgage taken out by his Wife as waste of marital assets.  Husband failed to obey Rule 5A:18 which requires him to state his objection to the dismissal.